Unaired Episodes: Star Trek POD Never Aired
by Ph33rbenkthankslol
Summary: The Crew of the Enterprize encounter a formidable enemy. Meanwhile Wesely is getting on everyones nerves.


Captain's log star date 7474117 we have tracked down the extremely powerful and dangerous starship P.O.D. and have orders from Starfleet to intercept it, let us hope we succeed.

"Captain, the P.O.D. is traveling at warp 8.993029399432-," said Data

"Move in to intercept," ordered Picard.

"time to intercept," said Data, "2 minutes and 9.8394839483927587435783475843 seconds."

"Shut up Data," muttered Picard, Riker chuckled,

"I've always wanted to say that," added Picard.

"Sir we are being hailed," said Worf.

"On screen," ordered Picard, the screen flipped on, an ugly face that resembled a maggot appeared. Wesley threw up and then fainted.

"Wuss," said Worf

"This is Maggot, captain of this Piece. Of. Douche." said the ugly captain who looked like a maggot. "I am a sworn enemy of humans, I will board your ship, rape your females, impale your males, kill your offspring, annihilate and enslave the rest of your race, and burn your worlds until their surface is but glass."

"Can't we talk about this?" pleaded Picard.

"Not likely, no," replied Maggot. Picard sighed,

"then you give me no choice but to defeat you…at all costs."

"Duh."

"Fine then," said Picard as the screen turned off. He turned to Riker,

"may fortune favor the bold,"

"or the stupid," snorted Riker.

Space, the fanfic frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise, it's seasonal mission to explore strange new special effects, to seek out dorky costumes and plotlines and to baldly go where very few TV shows have gone before….into Sci-Fi.

Badly recorded rap and heavy metal plays in the background as the credits roll.

Episode Unknown: "P.O.D."

Never aired

"arm phasers and photon torpedoes Mr. Worf," said Captain Picard, "prepare to fire all weapons on my mark…………………………………………………mark."

the torpedo bays sounded.

"no effect sir," said Worf.

"Let them taste the triple guns," suggested Riker,

"Good suggestion Numerumq Uno, Mr. Worf oblige,"

"But sir," said Worf, " we have ammo for the triply guns."

"Then put everything we have into them," yelled Picard, "Knives and forks and useless ensigns."

"Aye sir" said Worf obliging.

The triple guns fired and blasted through the ship, which, a few seconds later blew up into teeny weenie tiny pieces.

"Were heroes," proclaimed Worf, "Ahh, sweet, sweet, victory Ahh-." Worf started dancing up and down the bridge, whistling a battle song in Klingon.

"Kurff Kurff Grubadubadubadub Kurf Baddadoom and Boom!"

"What's wrong with Worf?" asked Wesley who was just coming around.

"Shut up Wesley!" growled Picard.

"Wah! My captain said _shut up Wesely_ Why? Wah!"

"Because you're a little douche who always shows us grownups to be stupid and……very stupid because you always get the story spoilers."

Wesley looked at the people around him, he had served with them saved them, now they looked……angry! He turned to his friend Data.

"Is it true?" he demanded tearfully to Data, "Am I a little douche?"

"Technically that is incorrect," replied Data, " if the literal meaning is interpreted. However, if interpreted as a human acronym, I estimate that the reference is 96.364893649248883629934 percent accurate in describing you. I am sorry Wesley."

"What would be a 100 percent accurate acronym to describe him Data?" asked Picard.

"A very, very, very dirty douche," responded Data

"Excellent," said Picard.

"Wah!" cried Wesley, "all my friends are so mean to me," he complained.

"For obvious reasons," said Worf.

"Yeah," piped up Riker, "your such a douche. Honestly why don't you go off and become a little demigod or something." A bright smile lit on Wesley's face

"Really?" he said.

"Why not," answered Picard, "your so useless to even kill off, this way is better." Wesley looked very, very happy.

"You make me a happy demigod Picard my captain."

"Get off my ship," ordered Picard and Wesley did.

Heavy metal plays in the background as the credits come and go.


End file.
